Resident Nintendo
by Tealfrog26
Summary: Huzzah! It's back and better then ever before! Read as some Smash Bros. try and escape the zombie infested Squirrel city and find out how this outbreak started. Read or Die!
1. J's Bar

Disclaimers: I do not own any of these characters. Blah Blah Blah Blah let's get on with the story.

Yay for story format!

So anyways, if you've ever played Resident Evil Outbreak, you might understand it a little more, but if you haven't...read anyway. If you've already read the chapters, read them again, because it's way better now. Enjoy

* * *

It was a quiet night at Jambalaya's Bar AKA J's Bar. Everyone was lazy bored and coughing up blood as they normally do. Except the part about coughing up blood. Not many people do that. There were only a few that weren't but who cares? Well maybe the Janitor Mr. Game and Watch. But he's just a janitor, what's he gona do? Anywho, back to the story...

"Just gimme another, will ya?" A pink puff ball hiccupped at the bar.

"A regular person would think after 859 beers, you'd be on the ground wasted." Fox, the bartender said.

"Well I'm not like a regular person, you see, I'm pink. Plus I have a belly that can eat more then any other person in the town." Kirby said.

The doors fly open.

A deep low voice came from the figure that just walked in. "You think you got what it takes to be the number one eater in this here town, pardner?" A Yoshi walks into the light

Kirby turns around and asks, "Who the heck are you?"

Yoshi pointed toward Kirby and said "look here you pink yellow belly..."

"Pink…yellow... what?"

"Enough! I challenge you...to a drink off!" Yoshi yelled out

Suddenly a voice that sounds a lot like an announcer boomed through the bar, "Hello and welcome to the J's bar Drink off. Here are your contestants, Kirby, the cop from Squirrel City, and some green hick dinosaur from down south. Let's get it on!"

For a few rounds Yoshi and Kirby did a good job drinking them. Kirby drank up, and had magical beer powers allowing him to uh... fizz. Yoshi, on the other hand sucked the beers, glass and all and laid little eggs...they did this for awhile, so I'll introduce the other people now.

Luigi and Mario sat near the bar. Mario was coughing a lot and Luigi was worried, "Hey-a Mario, you aren't-a looking good-a."

Mario coughs up his internal organs. He then falls over dead.

"Are you alright-a?"

Mario then respawns out of nowhere with a little 1 above his head.

Mario answered, "Yea I still-a have another life-a left-a."

"Well-a we-a better buy you a 1up-a mushroom. Fox, You-a got one?"

"Yea, though it's 1,000 coins."

"Why-a are mushrooms so-a darn expensive?"

"Blame Daisy's Umbrella Company."

"Well I-a better take-a out a loan-a."

Zelda sits at a table scanning her computer, looking for scoops for her reporting job.

"Hmmm... _a viral outbreak has been declared and the government wants to quarantine Squirrel City_? Hmm...I need something bigger...let's see_, the dead walk_? C'mon, that's impossible, _Leave the city now or you will probably die?_ Nah...what's this one?_ If you are disregarding everything about the zombies, you must be a real idiot, now you're going to die and you have only yourself to blame so I hope you're happy. _To long. Ah, here's one, _workers complete the Starbucks around the corner from Starbucks beside the Dunkin' Doughnuts which is now bought out by the Starbucks Company down on Starbucks avenue in the Starbucks District in Starbucks City. _That's perfect."

Captain Falcon sits at another table trying to figure out crossword puzzles.

"A six letter word for suave," Captain Falcon was saying to himself, "...gellin'...let's see...a six letter word for reliability...Feldco! Hm... a 8 letter word for a displeasing sound..."

"Uh...acck...uh..." came from a sickly looking man beside him.

Capt. Falcon patted him on the back making him cough even more, "That sounds about right, thanks, uh, dude. You look sick. Maybe you should se a doctor. There's one right there. Hey Doctor Mario! Come take a look at this guy."

Doctor Mario walks up. He puts a thermometer in the guy's mouth.

"Let's see, 98.6. He looks fine to me. Besides from the fact about him looking pale and coughing up blood and can't talk any sane words if his life depended on it." The guy starts to try and bite Doc. Mario.

"Well if you really want a pill that much...," The doctor takes out a pill, jams it the man's mouth and the man spits it out and bites doctor's hand.

Doc. Mario yelped in pain quickly retracting his hand back, "Ow! It bit me. Next time you're dying of a disease and come to my hospital, I'm not helping you."

Another Pink Puff ball comes into the bar. Falco sits at the bar staring at her.

"What is that...Kirby's girlfriend?" Falco said grimly.

"No way!" Kirby said from the contest, "She's obviously not my type and not even from my home planet!"

"Hm?"

"Just look, she's a different shad of pink and has wide eyes."

"Look who's talking..."

"Hey, you can shut up ok; I have long tall eyes, not fat and wide eyes. She's also is Japanese."

"Whatever..."

Peach was serving food to people when she trips and falls. A dish cracked on the ground.

:AHHH! Oh God NO!"

Doctor Mario comes rushing up and asks, "What's wrong!"

"I think I...Broke...Br...Broke my."

"What? What did you break?"

"MY NAIL! WAHAHAHAHAHA!" Peach ran away to the back crying her eyes out.

"Oh for the love of god."

"Now I'll go Unpretty forever!" Peach screamed from behind the counter.

"Can't you make another or something?" Doc. Mario said obviously clueless that painting a nail takes a lot of hard work and takes long strenuous hours of dedication and concentration.

"But I'm too lazy to walk upstairs. I might get tired." Peach groaned.

"Oh Shut up." Doc. Mario just waved her off and went back to his seat.

Meanwhile at the contest….

"Alright Yoshi, give it up." Kirby said looking at Yoshi laying drunk on the ground.

"You trying to-hiccup-hassle my, youngin'?"

"Well no, but you can't stop hiccupping."

" 'Coarse I can you whippersnapper. This here belly-o-mine is like a rock it-hiccup-is invincible-hiccup-I die before I lose to a vermin-hiccup-like you..." Then a man topples over on top of Yoshi and bites his neck. Everyone who was coughing up blood looked over and all try to get part of the dinosaur.

"Hey! Hey!" Yelled the bartender, "You listen hey you...zombie creatures, if you're that hungry, go across the street to Applebee's." The zombies look his way and start walking toward him.

Fox started backing up, "It was just a suggestion...I mean at Applebee's you can eat good and it's right here in the neighbor hood... AHH!" The zombies catch up to Fox because Fox doesn't bother to walk behind the bar being the second victim of the creatures.

"What the..." Falco got up and slowly back away from the crowd eating Fox.

"I don't-a know if it's just me-a, but I'm-a thinking we should leave-a." Luigi said to the others

Zelda got up from her table, "I'm with him RUN!"

Kirby took out his gun, then motioned for Luigi and Mario to take theirs out as well. "Me, Luigi, and Mario will hold them off. I've seen this before, it's just like those damn hippie concerts and those crazed fan girls. Die fiends, DIE!"

Kirby, Mario, and Luigi started shooting their guns off at the zombies while the rest of the people run upstairs. The zombies just absorbed the shots and kept walking.

"What do you-a think-a is wrong with them-a?" Luigi questioned.

"Who cares, just shoot." Was the answer Kirby gave while shooting off a round at a zombie. Mario started walking towards them.

"What are you doing you idiot?" Kirby called out to Mario, "What's he doing?"

Mario then said, "The one-a up-a mushroom is still-a in there- I have to get it back-a."

Mario started jumping on their heads hoping they would flatten like previous enemies he'd faced.

Kirby whispers to Luigi, "What's he doing?"

"He thinks-a that his past experiences in mushroom kingdom is-a going to be the same-a here, but it doesn't seem to be-a working...MARIO! Come back-a!"

Mario started getting angry not knowing why his technique was failing, "Why won't they-a die-a, I've-a got my Super Boots on-a."

Mario then falls into the crowd of zombies and gets devoured and dies a most painful death. Stupid Mario…..

Kirby then made up his mind. "Alright I think we've held them off enough lets go upstairs and meet the rest of the guys.

Kirby and Luigi run through the doorway lock the door and run up to the second floor.

But little do they know is that in every zombie movie the zombie's break through the door anyways...MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

Ha! I've actually redone this because sadly my Survivor Story got deleted. Instead of starting over, I'll just continue it from where I last left off.


	2. J's Bar part two

Now for the second new and improved chapter! Huzzah!

* * *

Kirby and Luigi were about halfway up the stairs when zombie's burst through the door.

Kirby hurried up the stairs with Luigi by his side, "Man, Why can't buildings have more reinforced doors, and now that I'm thinking about it, why didn't lock the door."

Luigi answered, "We-a did."

"Did we? Hmm….." Jeopardy music starts playing as the author looks at the first chapter to see if they did lock the door

AHA! They did lock the door. So let's start this chapter over……

Kirby and Luigi were about halfway up the stairs when zombie's burst through the door.

Kirby hurried up the stairs with Luigi by his side, "Man, why buildings can't have more reinforced doors, I don't know. But why did we lock the door? They could have just taken the key that was on the table outside and unlocked the door."

"You-a know how Zombies are, they-a are-a always destroying everything they see-a. I'm-a sure that door cost a lot-a money."

"Those bast-…. hey wait. Shouldn't we be running in terror about now?"

"Do you always have to ask-a so-a many questions?"

"Blame the author. RUN!"

The two ran straight up the stairs with the zombies close behind. Yes that's right, somehow slow hobbling zombies can run a fair chase against two people who are running for their lives.

The Italian and the Puff Ball run into the employee's lounge and lock the door for no apparent reason. But then they find planks conveniently lying on the ground with a nail gun sitting on a desk a few feet away. They nail the planks in the doorway.

Peach started rocking back and forth on the sofa, "We're all going to die such an unfashionable death! NO! Can't even die in Style! The zombies will break through the door and kill us all like they did to Yoshi and Fox and…"

"Don't forget Mario," stated the Italian plumber.

"No one cares about Mario! That fat slob of a plumber that Nintendo paid me to love," Peach looked around and saw everyone was looking at her strangly. Then she decided to complain again, "How can we ever go on…they're every where, outside the city inside the city, in the streets, under the streets, and…." Peach got slapped in the back off the head By Falco which sends her spiraling into the couch where she laid unconscious.

"God, she's so annoying." Falco said examining his hand.

Everyone agreed.

Zelda then spoke up, "So how are we going to get out of here?"

Capt. Falcon said, "We could sit here and fall asleep until morning. It will be easier to run away and stuff. We could have someone guard us every hour, like shifts and.."

Kirby cut in, "That is one of the worst ideas I've ever heard. I say we try and escape in the dead of night where we'll probably need flashlights just to see ahead of us and make it more difficult on ourselves. Who's with ME!"

Everyone sits there silently. Crickets start chirping.

"I see how it is, fine, since the crickets are the only ones who've agreed to go with me then I guess we're the only ones going."

And with that Kirby walks up more stairs to try and escape from the roof.

Falco leaned on the wall with his arms crossed, "well that was stupid. Then again, so is sitting here waiting for the zombies to burst through the door and kill us all. And to top it off, I'm not one to wait around…." Falco ran off after Kirby.

Luigi sighed, "Well-a then. I guess we're waiting it-a out till-a morning I'll start with the shifts."

Meanwhile upstairs………..

"Well I guess we're the only smart ones here, eh Falco?"

"Actually I thought this was a stupid idea too."

"Yea well…I don't hear the crickets complaining."

"There are no crickets…."

"Damn crickets bailed out on me! I can't believe the nerve of them…"

They got to the top of the staircase and stood facing the door saying Manager's Room. They open it up and headed on in. It was pitch black inside so they do the only logical thing they knew. They walked in the room and started stumbling around hoping to find something that could lighten things up.

"I think I found it…." Falco said.

Falco pressed a switched and a loud bang emitted from it

The lights suddenly snap on.

"What the hell did you do?"

"I pressed this….switch..." Falco looked down seeing what the so-called switch actually was, "Hey it's a shot gun. Wonder why the manager has one of these."

A mysterious voice across the room says, "I was trying to figure that out myself."

Kirby and Falco spin around to see a zombie like creature sitting at a desk drinking tea.

The "guy" spoke again, "I also was wondering how you were to turn on these bloody lights. But when the shot gun fired now I know that it must be one of those "Clappers". You know "Clap on. Clap off. The Clapper." Such a catchy tune, but so short. Kind of depressing if I do say so myself. Oh I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself. I'm Bob the ReDead. I'm from the graveyards in Hyrule. Pretty drafty in those graves so I decided to come here for a vacation and now look what's happening. Bloody shame."

Kirby and Falco look blindly at the creature saying nothing.

"So, do you guys live here or what?"

Kirby slowly starts to raise his gun

"Now what are you doing? Oh, wait! I know what you're thinking, I'm an evil demonic creature like the rest of the things downstairs, but I'm actually-"

Kirby then screamed out, "You're hypnotizing gaze won't work on us you freak! You won't get us alive!"

"No wait you have it all wrong I…"

Kirby shot the zombie again and again, and again, and even again.

"Kirby, I think he's dead…."

"Your point is what now?" Kirby then shot again, and again, again, and again. Pretty soon Falco got to wondering how many bullets were even in that round. But no one cares…

Back in the Lounge……

Every one was sleeping peacefully and uncomfortably on the floor except of course the guard. This guard was Doctor Mario. He wasn't feeling to well either. He went over to wake up Jiggylpuff to start the next shift

Doctor Mario, "Jiggly, wake up it's your shift."

JigglyPuff let out a squeaky voice that reminded Doctor Mario of his hamster he had when he was a kid. He wasn't very fond of his hamster. So he smacked JigglyPuff, "

Jiggly jiggle, Puff puff."

"Get up you stupid hamster,"

Jigglypuff mumbles incomprehensible words under her breath and unwillingly gets up. For an hour straight the zombies out in the hall were banging on the door trying to break it open but weren't having any luck. Then Jigglypuff starts to hear mumbled voices of those outside.

"Why…….we……door…?"

"……Know……not…, Forgot……."

"Screw……this……"

Jiggly hears the zombies start walking back down the stairs.

"Jiggly Jiggly!" She tried to tell the others, but alas no one spoke hamster.

Zelda woke up from Jiggly's uproar. Half asleep she tells her to shut up and that people are trying to sleep. Jiggly tries to explain the zombies are gone but alas, no one understands her again. So then she decides to give up and go to sleep.

* * *

And 'Tis the end of another chapter. Next chapter is where the unfortunate cast starts to meet other people from the game. And give me more reviews please. Thank you and hope you enjoyed this.

If you didn't, don't complain.


	3. Bowser's Rage

So on starts another mindless chapter about SSBM characters trying to escape evil mutant zombies.

This is where it actually gets good! Sorta...

* * *

Well, Kirby and Falco are wandering around trying to find the stairs to the roof and the rest are sleeping. So since no ones doing anything productive, it's now time to meet the main evil dude…. 

A few miles away in an old mansion a tall man with a trench-coatish thing and cool looking sunglasses sits watching TV. One of his skeleton assistants walks in and informs Gannondorf something, "Gannondorf….the creature is ready…..just for your info…"

"Quiet slave! Dr. Phil is on!"

"But sir you told me to tell you when the creature was done," Then realizing the importance of Doctor Phil, he asked, "….hey, is this the one where he coaches some fat people into making them skinny?"

"Sure is."

"Well make some room on the couch this is my favorite one."

"Sure thing buddy." Gannon hands the skeleton a bowl of popcorn.

"_So what you have to do is believe in yourself and try and burn off that fat. Just exercise daily and watch what you eat for the rest of your life" Dr. Phil was telling one of the fat people._

"_I don't know Phil, It just seems too hard."_

"_You know what Marianne, you can shut the hell up and believe. Do what I say or else you'll end up like Rhode Island. No one likes Rhode Island, no one cares about Rhode Island, and it's just there. Now you quit your whining right here and now and look me right here in my eyes and tell me you believe._

"_You're right Dr. Phil, I'm a changed person. I won't become like Rhode Island. I'll become more important, I'll be like California!_

"_No you won't Marianne, California will break off from the US and leave us to go north, and you don't want to go north. Alaska's north and no one cares about Alaska. Be more like Alabama. Nothing too big, but nothing too small."_

"_Thanks Dr. Phil"_

The skeleton added in, "I think she should be more like Connectic-"

Gannon looked evily at the skeleton, "What are you doing here? Who said you can sit down?"

"You did, sir."

"Now you're telling lies, get back to work and tell me when the creatures ready so I can control it before it breaks out."

"But it is ready."

Just then they heard crashing noises and then the wall caves in. Standing behind it is a giant disgruntled Bowser.

"RAAH! GRAWLLL! WHARLLLLLL!" Bowser looks up into the sky, "STARS!"

"Yes Bowser those are stars, there are over 10 billion in our universe."

"BLARGH!"Bowser points at a wet paint sign.

"Yes that is wet paint, don't touch it."

Bowser jumps into it and becomes smeared in red paint.

Skeleton moaned in disappointment, "Aw, now why'd you have to go and do that, I just finished the second coat. You big overgrown moron!"

Bowser turns his head to the skeleton and charges at him. Then he eats him.

"ummm…..yea, I should just get out of here now….but….Dr. Phil….hmm…be devoured by a mutated creature, or watch the end of Dr. Phil?" This was a hard decision, even for an evil master mind like Gannondorf, "I'll have to stay and watch the end."

"GRAWLLLLLL!"

But the tremendous growl from Bowser quickly changed his mind.

Gannondorf ran out of the house and onto a helipad with a helicopter conveniently placed on it. He goes inside and flies off leaving the tyrant Bowser to run into Squirrel City and cause mayhem on unsuspecting people.

_Back in the Bar, Upstairs_...

"Finally I think I've found the door leading up to the roof." Kirby said opening up a door at the top of a flight of stairs.

"About time….."

The cop opened the door cautiously. Kirby had a pistol in his hand and Falco with a shotgun. They walked inside the dark room and turned the lights on.

Kirby stared in discontent, "A bathroom? We just passed 2 on the way!"

"But Kirby….look." Falco pointed something out in the bathroom.

"What? Oh……my……god….." Kirby stared now in disbelief.

They were inside a wonderfully furnished women's bathroom.

"I can't believe it…." Falco muttered.

"We must have passed the men's and Employee's bathrooms but, why is this one have a leather couch inside?"

"And a TV."

"What? Aw, c'mon, and here are some hairdryers and nail kits, and even some plastic combs. Why do they get the cool stuff?"

"You're saying hairdryers, nail kits, and plastic combs are cool?"

"No….I just…..They have leather couches for God's sake!"

Falco opens a stall and comments, "and cotton toilet seats."

"This just isn't fair. I suppose this is why women take so long in bathrooms.

"Hey, this one's even got a guy inside it, we don't get women inside our stalls."

"What?"

The man woke up and moaned, "Huh? Oh, thank god, finally someone who's not infected. I'm Link and I've been hiding in here"

"So women don't get free men inside their stalls?"

"What? No, you sick freak."

"So what made you stop and hide in here?"

"Do I have to explain, just look at this place."

"Good point, when else do you get to hide inside of a women's bathroom then when zombies attack. By any chance do you have a cell phone?"

"No, I can't afford one, where I come from, Rupees are the money unit and they're only about .000000000001 of a dollar."

"Same with me, points from shooting down enemy aircrafts don't do much good. That's how I got to be a plumber. Kirby why don't you have one, you collect crystal shards?"

"Well you see, my hands are globs of pink fluffy material and I can't really press small buttons well."

"Oh. Then how can you fire a gun?"

"Well that's why I've been rejected from Squirrel City's special S.C.A.R.S group.

"Isn't that the Specially Challenged Academy of Racial Slobs?"

"Yea. Though I can still squeeze part of my hand in the trigger to fire it."

"Too bad. Anyways, where are you guys headed?"

"We were going to the roof but can't find the door leading to it."

"I know the way, I'll show you. Let me just get this hand gun that's in the garbage and I'll on my way."

The three walk up to the roof and the see a ladder leading down to the ground.

"Think we should go down?"

"With zombies crawling the streets? Of course."

Then a cop with a loudspeaker announces that an evacuation is being held down on the streets. Kirby jumps off the building and puffs the way down; the others climb down the ladder. When they reach the bottom they see the wielder of the loudspeaker is actually 2 kids with Eskimo jackets on.

"What? Kids? That's a let down…." Kirby sighed.

"Do you kids know you need a permit to use one of those?" Link asked them.

The blue one laughed, evidently his name was Popo, and Nana was the other since the name tag on them said so, "Haha, funny pink puff ball"

"Fun Fun!" The two start poking Kirby.

"Hey, Hey! Get off me!"

Popo and Nana start poking and hugging Kirby more.

"So there isn't an evacuation." Falco said depressed.

"Well actually there is." Popo said.

"It's down the street." Nana finished

"We were sent to find people." Popo said again.

"and tell them about it." Nana finished again.

"Why would they send kids?" Falco asked curiously

A zombie walked up to Popo and Nana. They spin around and start beating it furiously with their hammers.

Popo gleamed with happiness, " well we can hit things pretty well…"

"And in movies, kids are usually important and never die." Nana finished for him once again.

"But this is a story…." Kirby said.

Suddenl"y, dramatic music comes from no where. DUM DUM DUM!

"So?" Popo asked not seeming to care.

"Well, you said that, I don't know…. stop confusing me and let's go to the evacuation place."

"Ok follow me."

"Kirby, shouldn't we tell the others inside?" Said Falco before they set off.

"What do you think we're in, a movie? Just cause we don't go back to tell them and not risk our lives for theirs doesn't mean we're going to die."

"Yea, you're right." Link said, "Let's prove we can still live and not care about anyone else but ourselves!"

So they all leave to the evacuation place and get on the helicopter. The helicopter flies off and they live the rest of their lives peacefully. Ha, just kidding, I just always wanted to do that to a story. Actually they all got killed because the helicopter had an engine failure and plummeted to a building and blew up. Haha, just kidding again. Wow this is fun. Being able to control people's lives at the touch of the keyboard. Well anywho, here's what really happened….

When the five got there a few cops and some other people were there. The helicopter came in and just as the people were loading on to it, Bowser came charging in making strange noises. Everyone started to scream and run mindlessly around in circles until Bowser ate them. Kirby, Link and Falco stood by some newspaper machines.

Kirby started to complain, "Oh c'mon, why now? Why here? I mean really, couldn't you have spoiled someone else's evac. escape?"

Bowser turned toward Kirby and charged at him.

"Crap."

Right before Bowser skyrocketed into Kirby, Link pushed Kirby out of the way. Bowser ended up smashing its head right into the newspaper machine. He came out with a newspaper attached to its horns and covering its eyes.

Some one who finally stopped running mindlessly around in circles scream out, "Oh My God. We're all going to die! Just look, he's got blood all over him and now he's clawing at people and stomping around!"

Bowser, who was actually covered in red paint and couldn't see because of the newspaper, was frantically clawing around trying to figure out why he couldn't see. Then he fell right into the helicopter and blew it up. Everyone started running away in different directions. Kirby, Link, Falco, the 2 Eskimos, and another person ran into a train station across the street and hoped the creature wouldn't find them.

Bowser, who was lying on the ground from when he fell, felt sad. He was just a misunderstood creature who had no friends. So he blamed it on society and decided to go and kill more innocent people for reason in particular…

* * *

Well I hoped you liked my 3rd chapter, and don't worry, I'll get to the others in the bar in the next chapter. Well give some reviews and keep reading. 


	4. The Zoo

I know, I know, I said I wouldn't make another chapter till I was done with my other story….but oh well. I've also converted this into non-script. Yay.

IMPORTANT NOTICE! If you never played any Resident Evil games….then you probably won't get all the jokes….for instance, how even the minor objects that slightly obscure a path to freedom can prevent you from actually leaving…..because a pile of rocks, no bigger then cotton balls, are in the way…..and what if you trip! You might fall over! Or worse…skin your knee!

So without further ado…onto the story…..

Kirby and the others hid in the train station and then fell asleep. Back at the bar, the other guys just started waking up from their nap.

Luigi had just gotten up and asked, "It's-a about-a time that it's-a morning. But why was I-a never woken up for my-a shift?"

Zelda answered back with "Last I saw Jiggly was the guard."

Jiggly moves around and then gets up. Zelda asked her, "Jiggly did you fall asleep on your shift?"

"Jiggly Puff!"

"I-a hope you have a good-a explanation for this-a." Luigi was looking very disappointed in her

Jiggly tried making sense of what she was saying but all they heard was…

"Jiggly Jiggly, Puff Puff Jiggly."

Zelda glared at her and told her, "Your irresponsibility could have killed us all; I hope you're happy with yourself."

Jigglypuff hung her head down and walked away from the group.

"Where are we again?" Peach said just getting up from consciousness.

"In-a the-a bar-a." was heard before the rants started up again.

"Oh, then lets get out of here, its too cold, didn't anyone ever think of turning up the heat, god you guys are so inconsiderate. I mean, really…wait, why am I in a bar, who are you guys? You're kidnapping me aren't you. Get away from me! No wait, I remember now, zombies attacked and…..Oh My GOD! WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE! WHAT ARE WE GONA DO! ARE YOU GUYS MORONS? WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW!"

Luigi simply smacks her in the back of the head and sends her spiraling into the couch once more.

"Well I think we should get out of here like she said. Luigi, why don't you carry her?" said Zelda.

"But I-a don't-a want to."

"I don't care," she was saying "I think we can all agree you're the strongest here so you carry her."

Captain Falcon agreed with a, "Fo' sho'"

Zelda smacked him and demanded, "What did I tell you about speaking ghetto?"

Captain Falcon let out a low "sorrrrrryyyyyy….." and joined Jiggly in the corner.

Zelda turned to see Luigi looking complexed. "What's wrong now?"

"Well, Dr. Mario seems to have gone missing…."

"What do you think happened to him?" she asked.

"I-a don't know."

"You don't think…." She started, "he could've become one of those….creatures?"

"Can't-a you-a just-a call them zombies?"

"Luigi, you should already know that in all successful Zombie movies, the characters never call them zombies. They call them a variety of names like creatures, monsters, Human eating freaks, brainless sons a bit-"

"I-a think we got the point-a"

Zelda got up and said, "Well, let's just leave and try and get out of the city."

So they walk down the stairs with Peach on Luigi's back and walk out the front door. When they get outside a few zombies were walking mindlessly around in the broad daylight. One was at a pop machine kicking it furiously trying to get the sweet and utterly refreshing taste of 7-up out. The zombie then started crying. C. Falcon walks up to him.

"That's ok Mr. Zombie, here have this dollar."

The zombie looks up at C.F. and hesitantly takes the dollar. Then he shoves it in his mouth.

"No, no, no, you put the dollar in the pop machine, here I'll show you. Now what do you want."

The Zombie points towards the 7-up button.

Captain Falcon smiled "Ah, the sweet and utterly refreshing 7-up, good choice."

He gives the pop to the zombie who drinks the can in one gulp. Though all the pop just fell out of the zombie's neck due to the giant hole in it. The zombie started crying and ran off.

"Poor guy."

Zelda stood there with her mouth gaped open "I don't get it. Why didn't it eat you?"

Captain Falcon explained "Well Zelda, the power of friendship was a part of it."

Zelda cocked her eyebrow "The power of friendship? That's a load of bull."

"But is it a peaceful bull?"

Zelda sighed and walked off as the others followed. It wasn't particularly hard to evade the zombies seeing as though they walk as fast as a golf cart with bread crumbs as wheels. What?

After an hour or so, they come across the city zoo. Lying sprawled out thru the streets in front of the zoo were dead decaying animals with giant holes in them showing their internal organs. It reminded them of Swiss cheese. You know the cheese with the holes in it? But it didn't quite smell as bad. They decided that the animals and other dead bodies of things were not threatening at all and were just there for show. So they walked liked the idiots they were into the zoo filled with god knows what.

Jiggly tried warning them about the predicament they were about to walk in but they just waved her off. Falcon quoted, "No, of course it isn't dangerous, why would you say that?"

So it only took about 43seconds for them to realize this was a bad idea, because they suddenly heard a loud roar which could not be spelled or it would ruin the horror of it all You see if I said-

GRUAWLFULARGADOO CHEE BACCA EEEEE!

That would sounds as really gay and nonetheless funny. Which shouldn't be the noise coming from a zombified elephant. Oh I'm sorry did I say zombified? I meant the strange creature that resembled an elephant. Oh, and yes, it was an elephant.

The group screamed out in terror and ran off. Luigi dropped Peach on the ground so he could make the escape. They ran to the front gate when the elephant stomped overhead and crushed the gate. Now the gate was left in rubble.

"Quick! Just-a step over the debris, we-a can escape!" Luigi yelled

Everyone started up the wreckage when a mysterious force blocked them from climbing over it. Falcon smacked himself in the head for being so dumb as to try and climb something that blocked their path. He enlightened everyone on what was happening.

"You see, it's obvious that because there is something impeding our path, we'd have to strategically find our way over it. Instead of climbing or jumping over it, he'd have to find a crane or something to push it out of our way for us. It all makes perfect sense to me now."

"I don't get it….." Zelda stood confused.

Luigi then pushed her out of the way as a huge foot crushed where she should've been.

"We-a don't have time to get it, lets run!"

All of them just ran past Peach's unconscious body and into the reptile house. The elephant stampeded after them miraculously missing Peach on each step it made. The elephant stopped in front of the reptile house and roared out. It then walked away. The four of them looked out the door and saw Peach's body lying in the pavement.

"We should get her you know" Zelda said.

"Or we could leave her there and hope the author will bring her back magically later when we least expect it." Suggested Luigi.

"OK!"

So the four leave Peach to find a strategic way to walk over the debris. They all split up. In a few hours, Capt. Falcon found a crane suitably sitting on the side of the walkway.

"I found a crane!" exclaimed Capt. Falcon.

The others run over and take a look inside and see there are no keys.

"Oh no, there-a aren't any keys!" said a depressed Luigi.

"I know where they are!" said Zelda, "But I couldn't pick them up because I didn't have enough room in my inventory…..I knew I should have dropped these ink ribbons."

"Why-a would you-a even need ink ribbons?" questioned the only person who puts a's at the end of some words.

"In case I found a typewriter, duh."

"What?"

Before she could answer, Jigglypuff had taken the liberty in getting the keys and lifted her stubby little hands presenting the keys to Luigi.

"Yay, the keys-a, you're great!"

Luigi put the keys in the crane and jumped in the seat. He lifted the crane and positioned the hand over the rubble. Of course to make things more difficult for him, the elephant came charging in from no where and attacked the crane. Luigi lunged out of the crane screaming in terror as the elephant literally tore the thing to shreds. Everyone started running around in circles, panicking wondering what to do. The elephant darted over to Zelda and loomed over her. It let out a horrific roar and stood up on its hind legs ready to crush Zelda. That is, if it wasn't for an SUV that came bursting through the outer walls of the zoo. The elephant backed off, and looked at the SUV. The door opened and out walked none other than…..SURPRISE! IT'S PEACH! A now new and improved Peach too. She took out a rocket launcher from the backseat and fired at the creature. The rocket collided with the elephant with so much force, it blew it up. The sky then rained like it was no tomorrow sending various elephant organs, limbs, and flesh onto the stunned survivors. Peach, in a deep voice, said, "This way."

They all scrambled into the car and drove off through the destroyed wall.

Today had been horrible for Roy. He woke up this morning and fell out of bed bumping his head on the floor. When he got up his dog seemed a little over friendly and jumped on top of him pushing him back down. Roy laughed and shoved his dog off. The dog still tried jumping on him, its teeth raised. Roy scolded the dog and picked up a ball and tossed it out his window. The dog instinctively jumped out of the window. Roy shrugged his shoulders and walked down to the kitchen to find it deserted. He wondered where Marth was with breakfast. Roy was mad at Marth for not making blueberry pancakes. Oh, how much Roy loved blueberry pancakes. He searched the house but Marth wasn't there. So Roy wrote an angry note and left it on the table for Marth to see when he got back.

Roy decided to go out to the store and buy some blueberry pancakes. On his way some sickly looking salesmen started walking toward him with pamphlets. Roy knew that the salesmen were cheap, unreliable people who sell crap so he ran. As he approached the convenient store, more, torn clothed, sickly looking people started walking toward him. "Annoying hobos." Is what he thought at the time. He walked into the store and saw the place deserted and worst of all; they were out of Blueberry Pancake Mix! Depressed, he walked out and it started to rain. He went back into the store to buy an umbrella, but they were all out. So Roy decided to go to Daisy's Parasol Company to complain the lacked stock at the store, and hopefully get a free parasol.

So Roy walked all the way into the city until he was near the company building. It was beginning to get dusk and unfortunately there were more sick looking business men. But Roy already identified them. _Salesmen…._typically, they started walking toward him moaning with briefcases and business papers. One of them got close enough to him to bite him. And he did. Roy picked up a metal pole and whacked it over its head. More "business men" started swarming him and he had to defend himself. He started beating them all down with the pole. Then he saw a man with a trench coat and black shades pass him by. Roy yelled out for him to help but he just walked by. _People these days…so inconsiderate…_The man walked into the Parasol Company building. The out of the corner of his eye, he saw a strange creature tearing up cars, and street lights, He had a giant green spiked shell, with horns on his head and orange skin. It ran by and trampled most of the zombies that were attacking Roy. When Roy turned to thank him for his help, the creature trampled over him and ran away. Roy was in critical condition now and couldn't get up. He tried crawling around for a bit when something caught his eye. A sparkling green herb! He inched toward the odd plant and decided to eat it. He suddenly felt rejuvenated and got up. He walked over to the building, opened the door and walked over to the elevator. He pushed the buttoned but nothing happened. He pushed again and the light above the door blinked on.

"Come on, come on…I swear, these elevators are taking so long now a days…"

After a few minutes the elevator let out a mocking "ding" and the doors slid open. Inside revealed a few zombies moaning.

"Thank god, finally!"

Of course, since nothing was going his way today, the elevator lines snapped sending the elevator plummeting down the shaft.

"NOOO! This is so not my lucky day. Now I have to take the stairs!" So off went Roy down the stairs.

Wandering the steps were some more zombies in business outfits. They all turn at Roy and run at him.

"Uh-oh…" Roy jumped back and slammed the door in their faces. In the door window, he could see zombie beating the door with pamphlets and business forms in their hands.

"Damned salesmen….not today….not today…"

Roy turned around and sat down at the information desk. It suddenly hit him that the place was just as deserted as the convenient store. He then found a button on the desk. Of course he pushed it and a wall slid up into the ceiling exposing a secret room. A dark mysterious room…..So Roy walked inside, then tripped on a cord and he fell to the ground. This was definitely not his lucky day. He got up and turned the lights on and saw another elevator.

"YES! Salvation!"

Roy walked into the elevator but only saw a giant red button. He pushed it anyways, hoping it would take him to an advisor so he could demand parasols be stocked to stores when the weather forecast called for rain. He would get his way……

So what mysteries will Roy find? Why is he so oblivious to the current situation? Why am I asking these pointless questions?

Find outnext chapter!

so...yea, R&R, do as you please. Au revoir


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